“My body could stand the crutches, but my mind couldn´t stand the sidelines.”
I have been rehearsing this post for a while now, it is a very personal post, and because I have been struggling with the decision whether to publish it or not, I haven’t been able to write anything else. So it’s time…
My job is extremely tough, as in any other sport, it’s very competitive and extremely unfair, sometimes, or most of the time, giving it your very best, and working as hard as you can is not enough. You also need to be physically and naturally talented, and on many occasions, luck plays a big part on how successful you are.
For reasons I can not control, I have had a tough season so far, I haven´t been given as many parts as I would have liked, and I have struggled with an injury that doesn’t seem to want to go away anytime soon. I have had a hard time finding the motivation to work hard.
As a dancer, I am extremely lucky to be able to earn my living doing the thing I love the most, but that also means I can not separate it from my everyday life, everything becomes very personal. To quote Ayrton Senna, “You commit yourself to such a level where there is no compromise. You give everything you have, everything, absolutely everything.” That is how I work, and the problem is, when you give everything, you expect a lot back. In the long run, it gets hard to stay motivated and focused.
I have used this blog to give you a glimpse into my professional life, and unfortunately frustration is a part of it. We are Athletes with artist’s souls. It means we have to be strong physically and mentally, sometimes, your body fails you, other times your soul does. I personally struggle with the sidelines. Sometimes you sit out because of an injury, other times you are not given a chance, both situations are out of our control, its a part of the job, and it is something we have to get over. Myself included.
To be very honest I don’t know whether my body or my soul or both are failing me right now, but I have decided to take every ounce of determination I have left and put it to work. If my foot is not well, I will work everything else to be as strong as ever, and, surround myself with good friends and positive thoughts, and hopefully get over this low tide.
2017, I am coming for you!